Archive for the 'alternative career' category

Motherhood has changed my perspective on my career

Motherhood has changed my perspective on my career. (gasp!)

During graduate school, everyone told me that this would be a bad thing. It would be a sign of failure if growing a family altered my career objectives. I have decided (embarrassingly late) that this is yet another very unfortunate stigma. On the contrary, the psychological adjustments that I have made are major improvements to my mental and physical health, and likely also my career path.

It has been – far and away — the hardest thing I have ever done to start a new postdoc in a new field as a new mom. But I have learned some things about myself:

  1. I am a badass. I have never been more proud of myself as a human than when I realized that I had figured out how to coordinate pumping, training fellowship meetings, learning the lay of the lab from my colleagues when THEY had free time, juggling my son’s 2-3 weekly medical appointments and actually getting to be his mother for an hour a day. And by the way, I made actual science happen during windows between these obligations. It has all failed so far because none of my projects are as developed as I was told they were, but I have been a badass investigator and problem solver.

 

  1. It is possible that I am mentally moving away from a career at the bench. Becoming a mother has made me an even more organized and punctual person than I was prior (which is really saying something!). This includes a diminished patience with the snail-paced progress, general inefficiency and overwhelming failure rate of scientific experiments. I adore trouble-shooting; it is where I shine as a scientist. But I do not enjoy trouble-shooting that is never-ending. I used to compensate for this onerous progress by working 60+ hour weeks (as many do), but right now I refuse to miss my son’s bedtime more than twice a week, so I’m working much closer to 40 hours. Admitting that may I no longer have the patience to be the operator at the bench has given me the peace of mind I need to continue figuring it out.

 

  1. My Science Careers IDP match has always listed “Principal investigator in a research-intensive institution” as my top career path*. This is because I enjoy all the components related to being a PI – asking questions, writing grants, managing projects, mentoring scientists, networking at conferences, giving seminars, teaching science, scientific outreach. However, I don’t necessarily want my job to require ALL of these activities together. I would likely be perfectly happy with a career focusing on 2-3 of these things! What I now know that I definitely do NOT want out of my career – at least for the next few years while my son in young – is a 60+ hour work week. And that is a major change for me. I think I like it.

 

So now what? What do I do with this new perspective? My current plan is to reassess my position and objectives at 6 months and 1 year into my postdoc**. I do not think that 3 months in is the right time to reassess or act on a job change. But it is absolutely on my mind. And so is getting to go home to my sweet happy baby.

 

*As an aside, the ImaginePhD IDP matches me best to a writing/editing/publishing career. Fascinating.

**A bigger subject for another post!

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What’s in a name?

I defended 7 years ago this month…. and I’m still a Research Scientist 1.  I had hoped to be up for a promotion last year because I felt like I kicked butt all year. When I had my year end review, my supervisor said I did great and was up for the top merit bonus… but no mention of a promotion.  I mustered up the guts to ask how I was doing “in terms of career development” and he said “Great! You’ve only been with us for 2 years and it usually takes ~5 to get a promotion so you are right on track.”  I was bummed but I was also 5 months pregnant (and sick as a dog) so I had other things on my mind and I let it go.
It took me a little time to get back into the swing of things once I came back from leave in September.  But now I feel like I’m back and ready to take on really juicy interesting projects. I’m also looking around and seeing that other people in other departments are getting promoted and I feel like I am getting left behind. I’m starting to worry about my ability to transfer to a new company… will it be held against me that I’m still a Research Scientist 1?
Some days these thoughts/worries motivate me, make me work harder and try more.  I skip pumping sessions and pick up the baby late so I can squeeze more data out or be at a meeting hoping my presence and input might be the little bit extra to push me over the edge into an “early” promotion.  Other days not getting a promotion makes me question my ability and value as a scientist. Should I just quit and stay home with my new baby? Open an Etsy shop?  Paint?

I recently started talking with a new mentor in the Contracts and Alliances group who suggested I might be able to try out her group or Project Management. I thought about it long and hard (and after some twists and turns) I talked to my supervisor about it. He was supportive but also encouraged me to stay the course if I wanted to stay a scientist. I decided not to pursue it at this time but I still feel torn. It’s hard to move forward when I can see so many interesting options and feel under appreciated (sometimes). I think the idea of not being a scientist anymore is also really sad/scary to me… who would I be?  Would I be happier in a different profession?  For now I’m just trying my best at work and sorting through the options hoping for the patience to take the time to see how things go in the new year.


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The current state of science career paths

Dec 14 2017 Published by under advice, alternative career, women in science

We recently received an email asking the following: “I just wondered if you had any words of advice on how to manage the love/hate relationship with the current state of science career paths?”

peirama answered in a previous post. Here are a few more answers:

Danielle: I became very jaded during my PhD, it seemed like I was trapped in a low paying job that I couldn’t quit. All I could see were the problems with the field. The toxic advisors, the low pay, the uncertainty, the lack of benefits and stability. With some distance from that experience, I know that for me that was a necessary part of identifying what kind of a scientist I want to be. Being a PI and running a research group is not a realistic career option for me. I love research, but I also love my family, making a better income, and weekends. I could not commit to the protracted low-pay of the postdoc training period or the geographic uncertainty of the faculty job search. I love working with scientists on infrastructure issues and systemic issues that impact research and scholarly communication.  So, I am taking my wet-lab neuroscience training and using it to work to work on systemic issues, infrastructure, and policy. When you see the flaws in a community, a system, a company, or other organization perhaps it might mean you’re in the position to do what needs to be done and improve it.*

 

I’m focusing on improving access scientific research and data, as well as opening access to the profession of science in the hopes of making research reproducible and making the field a realistic career option for others. Want to get inspired by all the people working for science to be an awesome, inclusive, career? I encourage you to check out VangaurdSTEM,  Mozilla Science, Software and Data Carpentry, OpenCon, Rescuing Biomedical Research, Bullied into Bad Science,  Future of Research, and ASAPBio. People are working for a better future for science – and you can get involved!

 

* I do not advise this person to continue their graduate training if it will lead to debt and stress, and if they’re not enjoying the day to day research environment (which can be quite miserable depending on the research group!). As a non-traditional student myself (started the PhD at 31), I know that I was in part proving something to myself. You can do amazing work without a PhD. You can have enormous impact on the world without a PhD. Many of the smartest and most successful people I know do not have PhDs – heck, some of them didn’t finish high school and others never went to college. This person already has a master’s degree.  A Master’s degree is an awesome accomplishment. I’d encourage them to question why they feel like they need to get a PhD, why they want to continue in academia, and where they want to be in 5 years.

 

SweetScience: It makes me so sad to think of all the amazing talent lost due to discriminatory or even harassing work environments. As one of the rare women in science who doesn’t feel like these pervasive issues have actually affected me or my career directly, I won’t say much on this topic, but I can tell you what I do to stay on the love side of the love/hate relationship the reader mentioned. When I see writing, especially editorials in scientific journals, or hear speakers at scientific conferences calling out discriminatory practices or discussing them in any light, it makes me so happy that people are talking, labeling this as unequivocally unacceptable, and bringing it to the attention of those who need to hear it most. I try to make sure this feeling outweighs the sadness that comes along with reading the distressing stories, and to do that, I consciously remind myself that this is the beginning of the change! I also try to do everything I can (now mostly as a mentor) to support individual young women in science, again with the idea that this is the only way we can move forward from a toxic history.


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The hardest semester of my life

Don’t worry, this post isn’t a complaint. I had the hardest semester of my life but I got something great out of it.

I started a new job this fall – one of my top-choice careers, at one of my top-choice institutions! I am teaching undergraduate neuroscience students at a large university in a place I love, near family. But of course it couldn’t be that simple. Because of family-related issues, I couldn’t move there and get started full-time right away. So all fall I’ve been commuting between two different states to work part of the week at my new job and part of the week at my old postdoc research position. As you can imagine, it’s been a terrible to commute, and especially difficult to be away from my family, even part-time. Add to that health issues, deaths of family and friends, and more, and it’s been a nightmare overall, and a struggle to get through each day and week.

Despite all that, I found that I loved my new job and was excited about it throughout the semester, regardless of what else was going on. I looked forward to planning how to teach each lesson/topic, talking with students, and evaluating their performance. I love virtually every aspect of it! This was a stark contrast with my old job. Even though I couldn’t wait to return home to my family, I dreaded going back to my job in the lab. I did not want to do lab work, did not want to write or research, and, to my surprise, did not even look forward to helping my students with their research projects.

Realizing these thoughts and feelings about my work made me so happy that I could be confident about my choice in career paths. Up until I accepted this teaching position, I had been thinking that I would be equally happy doing that or teaching and running a small lab with undergraduate students at a small liberal arts college, where I could focus on the students more than cutting edge research. Now I realize that that would have been a mistake and I just can’t be excited (or do a good job) for research-related activities, outside of teaching students about research on an intellectual level.

So here I am on the home stretch of the hardest semester of my life (so far…), fully excited about my move to full-time lecturer, and for a fresh start for the new calendar year! It feels so good to be confident about my career choice and path forward.


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Love/Hate relationship with science

Nov 08 2017 Published by under academia, alternative career, dream job

We at Portrait of the Scientist recently received this question: “I just wondered if you had any words of advice on how to manage the love/hate relationship with the current state of science career paths?”

What a tough question. I am sure each of us has a unique answer to this. I am in a non-science job that I was able to get based on my science background. My job is interesting. I get to learn new things all the time. I have learned more than I could have imagined about radiation therapy. I get to read about new genetic testing topics regularly. And when I get time I’m going to start learning about uterine transplant. So novel, yes. Interesting, yes. But it is not the same as doing science. Of course it isn’t. As a scientist you are always trying to figure out the why and how. Always trying to dig deeper. Not just to understand what people already understand, but to understand what is not yet explained. Compared to science my job is superficial.

One the other hand, the everyday of science can wear you down. The experiments that don’t work. The methods that leave you hanging. The unclear results that leave you more confused than you started. On top of that there is the current culture of science that values the bright and shiny over the thoughtful and well-planned. The system that puts so much pressure on every level that as a trainee, at the bottom of that pressure cooker, you can feel so small. The limited number of jobs that makes all of the above so much more painful. In that environment it can be hard to remember that you’re doing what you love. With all of the publication bias, the lack of value for negative results, and the (pressure) to get out the pretty story that will get you the grant, get you the job, it can be hard to remember that what you’re doing is uncovering the truth. That it is your responsibility and your honor to find the real story of how the world works.

So, working in science you have the privilege to do work that you are passionate about, but it can be hard and painful and feel like it is without reward. Whether or not you love science, you may not love the science lifestyle. As much as you might be an idealist, your life might turn out to require more money than your third postdoc can provide. Do I think that a science career should be accessible to all good scientists? Yes. Do I believe that all good scientists should put themselves through what it takes to make it in academic science? Not necessarily. It is not a life for everyone.

This weekend I was talking with a friend in a similar place as me. She was a neuroscientist, and she even became a PI. The fears of overwork and never feeling secure or successful that were part of what held me back from seeking a PI position were echoed in her experience. She moved for her husband (but kept her position long-distance) and then had a child and ended up leaving academia. She is currently in a data analyst sort of position for a hospital working with physicians running oncology clinical trials.

When I heard about her job I thought it sounded great. A way to be in touch with science and data, but to be closer to an impact on people by working with clinical trials. In addition, she’s not fighting for grants and doesn’t have a lot of the pressures of being a PI. She is a professional and a scientist. It turns out the reality is not the dream it seems. She plans to stick it out to the end of a year working there and then start looking for a new job. The physicians treat her like a bad PI treats a postdoc. They have no regard for her time or her expertise. She is forced to make and remake figures to suit their whims. I am sad for her and sad for the world of scientists looking to leave the rat race, the “pipeline,” but stay connected to science.

So do I have advice on how to manage the love/hate relationship with the current state of science career paths? Not really. I made a choice and it is working for me but I don’t know that it would be the right choice for anyone else. Individuals who write for this blog have made a variety of choices (that you can read about here, here, here, here, and here). No matter what you do, you will have to sacrifice. No job is that magical dream job that I long for, that I once believed was possible. Academia has huge challenges, including for many a lack of support and the demands on time. Other jobs may be less interesting or allow less freedom. To figure out what is right for you, you have to balance your own values and tolerances and listen to yourself.

 


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Science administration: what’s that?

Sep 23 2017 Published by under alternative career

watchingforsunbreaks is a research administrator living in the pacific northwest. After getting a PhD in biochemistry, she switched to a career in research administration and hasn’t looked back. In her free time, she enjoys cooking, photography and travelling the world.

 

When I went to grad school, I didn’t really know what I wanted to do. During my undergraduate studies, I really liked working in a research lab. It was more fun to run experiments than study out of textbooks, so I figured I should just go get a PhD. Well, I got one and then realized I still didn’t know what I wanted to do. By the end, I was burned out. Instead of jumping into a postdoc, I decided I would take a break, try to find a job still related to research and de-stress. If I missed the lab in a year, I’ll try to go back, but if I didn’t, then I needed to move on and find an alternative career. Suffice to say, I didn’t go back to the lab and now several years later, I’ve ended up in a career path I never really thought I would be in, science administration.

Maybe I’ll go into how I got started in this career in another blog post, but for this one, I’ll just try to describe what Science Administration is, how my research background is useful and some pros and cons of the job.

Science administration – what is it?

I think of science administration as having two broad components, research administration and program administration.

Research administration covers everything related to grants, contracts, and sometimes project specific work if it is a large award encompassing multiple projects and multiple sites. People are often divided into pre-award and post-award, where pre-award is all about finding sources of funding, getting research proposals together, putting together a budget and making sure applications conform to not only sponsor requirements but also institutional requirements. Post-award is everything that goes into making sure once a proposal is funded, that the money is spent in accordance with the terms and conditions of the grant and that the project progresses in a timely manner.

Program administration is more generalized, more similar to admin you would find at any organization encompassing personnel onboarding/offboarding, providing support and guidance for program activities such as seminars and recruitment, and financial support for core funds (money that does not come from external sponsors). Program administration roles are often more strategic, looking into what the needs of the department/program or institution are and how to working toward fulfilling those needs through a mix of institutional resources and sponsored funding.

Do I use any of my science training?

Short answer is not really. Vast majority of science admins don’t have a science background at all. This is changing, though. Since I started in this career, I’ve seen more and more people with science backgrounds and even a few more PhDs starting in this field. I’m not sure if that’s in part due to there just being too many graduates in biosciences who are looking for alternative careers, or if the field itself is professionalizing more and thus looking for people with more science background.

While I rarely use my research training, I do find that it is helpful. I can look for funding opportunities that are more directly related to the work my faculty do, I lightly edit their research proposals (though more with postdocs than with PIs), I can put together budgets that are more in line with the actual project and not just based on generalized estimations. But mostly, I think it helps with just being able to anticipate the questions faculty have and be a better conduit between them and sponsors since I’m familiar with how they work and their thought process. I can speak in their language and that makes them more comfortable and confident in me, which then allows me to be better able to help them. There are lots of science admins who have no science background who are great at their jobs, so this is definitely not a necessity.

Pros

  • My values are aligned with the goals of the institution I work for. It might sound hokey, but the fact that the goal of the organization I work for is to cure cancer is really important to me. I still feel like I’m contributing to a cause I believe in even though I’m not doing the hands on research anymore.
  • Good work/life balance. I have regular hours and I rarely take my work home.
  • Good colleagues and work environment.

Cons

  • It’s boring sometimes. I’m always looking to learn more but most of the time, the work is not particularly challenging.
  • It can be hard to advance. People in this field tend to stay and hold on to their jobs for a long time since the pay is decent and the job is stable, so there’s not a lot of opportunities to advance within the organization.

That’s a pretty quick and dirty introduction to science administration. For researchers looking for an alternative career path, I think it’s definitely worth considering.

 


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Job Interview Questions

When I was first interviewing for jobs I got the question “what are your career goals?”  The question was something I had given a lot of thought to but I’d never actually transferred these ideas into an interview appropriate answer before.  I muddled through that interview, but I realized I could do much better if I forced myself to put my thoughts into actual words, so I started preparing for interviews by writing down potential interview questions and answers.  I think this has helped to make me more clear and succinct (when I’m nervous I tend to ramble) and I like that I get the chance to review what I said for previous interviews.

Recently, a lot of my friends and family have been applying to new jobs/promotions and I’ve been running practice interviews with them.  It feels good to have another use for all the research I put into finding/coming up with/remembering potential interview questions, so I’ve decided to also compile them here for our readers.  Please feel free to comment with any other questions you’ve come across.

Two general thoughts on interviewing…

  • Make your answers short and specific.
  • Keep things positive, if you want to highlight aspects that you didn’t like, try to put a positive spin on things, eg show how would improve things.

Best of luck to all the job applicants out there, I hope this helps!

Questions

– Tell me about yourself/how would you describe yourself?  This should be geared toward the job you are applying for not a general introduction.

– Tell me about your experience at ____ prior company/lab___.

– What did you like about ______ prior company/lab___?

– What do you wish was different about ___ prior company/lab___?

– Why do you want to leave your current position?

– What do you know about this position/company?

– What techniques/methods are you accustomed to using?

– What is your work style/how do you like to approach your work?

– What are your top 3 strengths/weaknesses?  Make sure to tailor this to the position.  If it was a R&D job I might feel ok mentioning that I get nervous talking in front of crowds (true) but if I was going for a science liaison position I would probably choose something else.

– Why are you interested in this job/company/institution?

– What are your expectations for this job/company?

– What is your management style/how do you like to be managed?

– Tell me about how you like to interact with your lab mates.

– How do you deal with conflict?

– What do you bring to this job/company?  This is an awesome opportunity to brag and really highlight why you should get the job

– Describe a setback and how you overcame it.

– Describe a conflict and how you overcame it.

– Describe a time you were working under pressure to get a project completed.

– Describe a mistake and what you did to correct it.

– Give an example of when you used scientific problem solving/a creative scientific approach to solve a problem.

– What motivates you scientifically?

– What are your career goals?

– Why are you leaving academia?

– What are your hobbies?

– Do you have any questions for me/us? You will probably use some up during the course of the conversation, so have a bunch.

– Do you have any concerns for us?

– How much do you want to make? I hate this one… I always try to say something like; I’m excited about this position and I would just like to be appropriately compensated. Ugh.

 

 

 


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Cherries and cherry pits

Aug 10 2017 Published by under alternative career, dream job, leaving academia

For a long time, I was looking for a job. This was my vague list of demands:

Use my scientific knowledge

Use my critical thinking skills

Participate in goal-driven work

Good boss

Good team

As a medical policy research analyst, my demands have been met. My job is to analyze medical research and write policies for a health insurance company. Now, every day, I use my scientific knowledge for a specific goal. I read, critique, and interpret medical studies. I use my critical thinking skills to decide whether the evidence supports a medical procedure. I have a manager and a team I can talk to and get help from. Everyone is helpful and understanding.

Medical policy is quite different than anything I have done before, but it is not unfamiliar. When prepared for my interview, I told myself that I had done this before. I told myself how I had made decisions based on evidence in the lab and how that prepared me to make policy decisions. I made myself sound very convincing, but I wasn’t sure how true it was.

It is pretty true. Critical thinking is critical thinking and evidence is evidence. That doesn’t mean I don’t have a lot to learn. I need to learn what aspects of a study are the important ones. I need to learn how much evidence is “enough evidence.” But the basics of looking at evidence and making decisions? I have that.

So all that to say, while this job is different, it is also not so different. I will continue to do my job and to to learn. I will learn and grow and work and learn. And someday I will have a whole new set of skills and a new vague list of demands.


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Getting over burnout

Jul 14 2017 Published by under advice, alternative career, dream job

The month of May in the Northwest is lovely. So when the days became clear and warm I began taking my book and my food to a sunny spot outside. For a short time, I would escape my world, avoiding data, obligations, and the lab, and be transported to another world.

One day, an acquaintance was sitting in my sunny spot. So I set aside my book to chat. After initial hello’s we moved on to work talk. This acquaintance and I knew vaguely what each other do and our career stages, but our knowledge was shallow. The kind of knowledge you gain with brief hellos in passing.

He told me a little about his work as a pathologist. Then he asked me how things were going for me. “Fine,” I said, not able to muster the enthusiasm to elaborate. He sensed the burnout immediately.

While I love science and would not have said I disliked what I was working on in lab, I did not feel good about the direction my career was going and I was not sure that I was going to be able to know which way to steer it or how. For so long I thought and thought about how to make my career work for me. I talked to people and I tried to imagine a world where I was happy with my job.

I was trying to pick the perfect job and just didn’t know how. How do you know what job is going to be interesting, stimulating, enjoyable, and attainable? Despite not knowing what I wanted to do, I felt like a failure for not having moved on, for not finding that fit yet.

And then finally my networking paid off. A connection I made through a connection of a connection had a job opening in her group. A job I thought might be interesting and in town and with good work-life balance!

And an application turned into an interview turned into another interview and then waiting.

The waiting was so painful. It was a roller coaster of emotion. The waiting went on so long that most people gave up asking. I almost gave up hoping.

And then finally, one day, the phone rang. I was nervous so I let it go to voicemail. The recruiter asked me to call back. When I got her on the phone, she matter-of-factly offered me the job! It felt unreal. It still feels unreal. Years of waiting, for things to turn around in a matter of minutes.

I will post about the actual job another day. One month in, I do enjoy it. It is very different from academia, but I use many skills I gained there.

I feel incredibly lucky. I know I put in a lot of work, but it still feels amazing that this worked out. It feels like if the wind had blown the other way I would still be on the job hunt.

Before this, I kept hearing stories of people getting jobs. It felt like it should happen for me but at the same time like it couldn’t. I’m smart, I’m qualified, but still it felt unattainable. The applications with no replies piled up. I only actually had two unsuccessful rounds of interviews, but it was enough to make me feel like I was not good enough at interviewing to get a job.

So what I have to say to you, job seeker, at this moment of my success, is have patience. Keep talking to people. You think you’ve met everyone, but you haven’t. You may think that because networking hasn’t helped you yet so it won’t, but that’s not how it works. Keep at it. Because, just like in the stories I had been hearing, persistence paid off for me.

 


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When Your Postdoc Mentor Switches Institutions, or The Amazing Community of Women in Science

I am 9 months into my first postdoc. I am 6 months pregnant. I will be unemployed two days after my son is due to be born.

One month ago, my postdoc mentor announced that he has accepted an incredible promotion at a university on the other side of the United States. For several reasons — including having just relocated my family, the strain on my husband’s career and the expectation of a neonate at the time of the Great Move – I will not be translocating with the lab.

My “mentor” made clear to me last week that he will not be renewing my contract two days after I give birth even though he will remain at my institution for another 1-3 months. Even though he will renew current university contracts with at least one other postdoc for several months and lied to my face about doing so. My Postdoctoral Union, the Academic Resource Center and the university Business Office have nothing to say about this. I have no protections in this situation; it is my “mentor’s” choice.

I have spent three quarters of the last month in debilitating pain because my dentist managed to kill a perfectly healthy tooth and pregnancy hormones exacerbated the effects of necrosis, inflammation and infection (lack of effective painkillers did not help either). The other quarter of the month I spent frantically scouring my current institution for potential academic postdoc opportunities in a sea of unknown or inadvisable labs. Labs that are very unlikely to be willing to contract a woman who would just entered maternity leave at the time of ideal onboarding. By this time, I may or may not have transferable salary from any of the three fellowships I’ve just finished applying for. Likely the latter, which prevents me from sweetening the deal.

‘Just find a new postdoc position by next month,’ my “mentor” advises. ‘That way you can spend a month or two in the new lab before going on maternity leave. No one would refuse you a position because of the pregnancy, that would be outrageous.’ He proceeded at my overly laudatory request to recommend potential employers who were strikingly ill-suited to my career goals or experience.

“Mentorship”.

Given the timing of my imminent unemployment and my need for not only neonatal care but regular treatments for my autoimmune disorder, avoiding a lapse in health coverage is – for the first time in my life – a priority over my career aspirations. In a time when COBRA and biologic therapy are unaffordable, my husband and I must re-budget dramatically to pay our mortgage and loans and keep our neonate (and ideally, myself) alive. I have therefore stretched my feelers into a world I was not prepared to join for several years if (and only if) I could tell with more certainty that professorship was not in the cards: non-academic science.

Mid-pregnancy does not feel like the right time to be making a career-altering decision that could mean closing the door to academia for good. Then again, if my choice is between sacrificing my family’s well-being for a sliver of a chance at a reasonable academic postdoc or sacrificing my pipe dream for a potentially happier and more rewarding life, the latter is my clear choice. This is not what everyone should or would choose in these circumstances. This is likely not what I would have chosen 5 years ago. But I love what my life is becoming and am prepared to shift gears if it means being able to do rigorous, ethical and productive science in a healthy way.

Despite the extraordinarily strenuous timing, this transition is somewhat of a blessing as I have had a miserable 9 months with my current absence of any form of mentorship, the embarrassing dysfunction of this world-renowned lab and the excruciating oppression of both my “mentor” and a male adjunct faculty. This is my way out without being the one to set fire to any bridges.

While most days I feel lost and hopeless, I am grateful to no longer be in debilitating pain and I strive to protect my active little belly parasite from my own distress. I am fueled now more by adrenaline and awe of the circumstances than by fear and depression. And I have benefited from some wonderful advice.

You know who has advised me? Not my male “mentor” who has all but thrown me into the gutter. Women. Women who are senior post docs in my lab. Women who write for this blog. Women who have agreed to interview me for positions in their labs at my current institution. Women who have talked through the circumstances of my potential unemployment and financial crisis with me. Women who have helped me identify solutions. The woman who I interviewed with today.

The ball is rolling in a sluggish but mostly forward direction. Today I have hope because of the women I have met in science.


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